Dog Feelings

Bridgette and I had a rough transition onto St. Barth.  I am sure some Cesar Millan person would tell me that I created the monster, which indeed, I am sure I did.  But our first five weeks here were torture.

Bridgette is a rescue.  She is nine years old and I have had her not even two years.  But she is a wonderful dog.  Never barks when I leave her and may be a bit indifferent towards strangers, but has come around and is even quite friendly these days.  She travels like a rock star.  

When I left her for five weeks with my mom and Lou in December and January for vacation to St. Barth, she didn't eat well for a few days, but eventually came around.  She was sad, but eventually adjusted.

Well, she panicked when we moved to St. Barth in March.  I essentially could not leave without her barking for the entire time I was gone.  This is a dog who I didn't even hear bark for two months.  She certainly found her voice.  She was so calm when she was out with me in public, my friend on the island called me a drama queen describing how hysterical Bridgette got when I left.  Bridgette was like a wild crazy beast when I left her at home.

This did not work so well since I lived a stone's throw from my landlord.  And I liked to get up early and my neighbor did not rise until after I did.  I was essentially trapped in my apartment.  And then I had to take her everywhere.  Luckily, I could take here everywhere -- restaurants and the like.  But it became exhausting.  And impractical.  But I kept doing it.

I tried leaving clothes of mine of the floor.  We visited the vet for homeopathic remedies.  Dog bones.  Distractions.  Trying to leave for 3 minutes, then 5 then 10, then longer.  Didn't work.  She would bark and I would return, essentially rewarding the barking behavior.  I would leave and tap on the window, try to distract her.  It took me hours to get out the door and eventually I would just bring her anyway.  People asked me what I did all day.  I couldn't bear to explain.

When we went to New Jersey and returned to St. Barth this past Monday, I think Bridgette realized this is our home for now.  A little bit of panic and she has to sleep in my closet amongst my clothes (picture below), but no more barking fits.  It makes a huge difference.  I can actually leave my apartment sans chien.

Our dogs, we love 'em and will do just about anything for 'em. . .

Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous

St. Barth is an island known for its tourism.  More specifically, tourists who have money and often, those who are famous.  (This is not the reason I moved here -- there are plenty of tourists, money and famous people in New York City).  Particularly around the Christmas season, parties abound.  Sun, sea, yachts and Cristal champagne.

Lest you might think someone with no job actually lives like this, I thought I would give you a peek into my daily living.  When I lived in New York, worked seven days a week and sometimes didn't go to sleep, it was necessary to gather my laundry, drop it off with the doorman, have a laundry service pick it up and wash it.  I would pick it up the next day and never even put it away.  I would just pull it out of the bag and wear it.

When I quit my job and lived in New York, I indeed did my own laundry.  But it definitely did not look like this:

And then I swept my stoop!  Ah, it's the good life!!!  :)

Six Month Hiatus From the Hiatus

It's been six months since my last post.  November, 2, 2010.  I stopped writing because, despite quitting my job and attempting to pursue my life long passion, whatever that may be, my life was clicking along with nothing particularly special going on.  Boring.

So I quit my job in April, 2010.  It's been almost a year.  And I have become inspired to write again.  Inspired by a couple of things.  Inspired because I have lost someone very special to me.  And inspired because I have fallen in love.

Lou, my stepfather, died.  He was a wonderful man and I was fortunate enough to be at his and my mother's home for the last couple of weeks of his life.  Even more fortunate to be by his side as he died.  He was a humble, sweet, affectionate, kind, loving and generous man.  Truly, people like me stand on the shoulders of giants like Lou's to even get a glimpse of what the world could possibly be like.  I wake up now, thinking about my day, and wondering what Lou would do.  How would Lou do it?

He made such an impact on so many people.  He was not a politician.  He was not a rich man.  He was not famous.  He did not hold the answer to cure the world's problems.  He was an ordinary man who had a faith in God beyond most and a love for his wife and family beyond the pale.  He just simply loved God, his fellow man and lived a life of humility and gratitude.  He actually loved life.

So, I have had the rare opportunity to have someone so wonderful in my life.  I can only take this example and use it as a guide blueprint for my future.

As far as falling in love, I did some travel as people are wont to do when they quit their jobs.  I intended to travel to Southeast Asia for several months, then thought it too sad to travel for that long alone.   I wanted to learn how to speak French so thought about France, but then thought it was too cold in the fall, so eventually decided on St. Martin and St. Barth.  Long story short, I went to St. Martin and did not like it very much, but then went to St. Barth and fell in love with an island.  Immediately.  I was traveling over the holidays -- the busiest season of the year -- and decided I wanted to stay an extra week.  Nearly impossible to do to find a hotel room.  But where there is a will there is a way.  I stayed an extra week.  Then another (and with my mother's amazing grace -- she agreed to keep Bridgette even with a sick husband and having to walk Bridgette in the middle of the winter).  And another.  During that time, I decided I wanted to return to St. Barth, making a life in St. Barth and New York.

And this is where my new career/life would be centered around.

So, I have never had a dream.  Kind of weird.  Kind of sad.  But I had a dream while I was on this trip to live on St. Barth.  I am still formulating what the career/job/business will be, but it will involve St. Barth.

So, I have not answered whether quitting my job is reckless or limitless.  But there is no end goal anymore.  It is indeed the journey.  If I flop, I flop.  It is all about experiences.  I experienced Lou's death in a way I could never have had I worked at a law firm or had a job in the states.  I happened to be in transition and was able to spend the time with him and my mother without rushing to and from a job and giving my every devoted moment to them.  I would never trade that for anything.  It doesn't matter if I am 5 years behind in my career.  Or 10.

There are many facets to this choice.  To be continued. . .